“With savages, the weak in body or mind are soon eliminated; and those that survive commonly exhibit a vigorous state of health. We civilised men, on the other hand, do our utmost to check the process of elimination; we build asylums for the imbecile, the maimed, and the sick; we institute poor-laws; and our medical men exert their utmost skill to save the life of every one to the last moment. There is reason to believe that vaccination has preserved thousands, who from a weak constitution would formerly have succumbed to small-pox. Thus the weak members of civilised societies propagate their kind. No one who has attended to the breeding of domestic animals will doubt that this must be highly injurious to the race of man. It is surprising how soon a want of care, or care wrongly directed, leads to the degeneration of a domestic race; but excepting in the case of man himself, hardly any one is so ignorant as to allow his worst animals to breed.

The aid which we feel impelled to give to the helpless is mainly an incidental result of the instinct of sympathy, which was originally acquired as part of the social instincts, but subsequently rendered, in the manner previously indicated, more tender and more widely diffused. Nor could we check our sympathy, if so urged by hard reason, without deterioration in the noblest part of our nature. The surgeon may harden himself whilst performing an operation, for he knows that he is acting for the good of his patient; but if we were intentionally to neglect the weak and helpless, it could only be for a contingent benefit, with a certain and great present evil. Hence we must bear without complaining the undoubtedly bad effects of the weak surviving and propagating their kind; but there appears to be at least one check in steady action, namely the weaker and inferior members of society not marrying so freely as the sound; and this check might be indefinitely increased, though this is more to be hoped for than expected, by the weak in body or mind refraining from marriage.”
― Charles Darwin, The Descent of Man

A successful person is built based on the lessons they've learned from failure...

Simply put, what does every person want? Success in their pursuits. Unfortunately, that doesn’t always happen, beacause people tend to forget to put their dreams into practice. And for many other reasons such as fear of the unknown and laziness.

1. Success mus be planned

Improvised living will give you unexpected results. You will always have a better chance to succeed in any venture if you have a plan. By forming a simple plan, former non-planners will increase their rate of success. (general statistics argue this and also by my own life experiences).

 Having a complete vision of your intentions prepares you to execute them and you’ll be more likely to flatten obstacles in your way. It’s been proven to be more effective. In other words, pragmatic persons tend to have more success in life.

Specific intentions work better because vague intentions are open to interpretation.

2. Don't try to climb a mountain before you even leave the house (Dream big but...not so big).

For 2015, my goal is to finally get my degree in Biochemistry with a good mark. I study every day for these two exams. One hour to study every day is precious but it won't get me that far. The value comes from starting and from studying every day. It takes time and perseverence to succeed.

In other words, whenever I have time, I review the lessons I have to known "by heart". I am never intimidated by the challenge, even when I’m sick or tired, or worse when other people try to discourage many (and there are some because they have nothing to do and it's funny, I guess). This one tiny step helps me bridge the gap between couch and science.

When you aim high, intimidation is common, and that puts your goal at risk. If my goal is to ge a good biochemist, I would have failed at times and gotten discouraged (believe me, many, many times). Sometimes I think that my peseverence is in vain but I don’t ever feel discouraged.

This is more relevant for daily tasks and goals than long term dreams. Don’t dream to be a mediocre person. Dream big, but break that dream down into small, daily actions that inch you closer to it every day. If we could imagine that an exam is a fight, imagine every day is a perfect day to train for the final struggle.

Lesson to apply : One tiny step forward beats one giant leap sideways.

3. A single battle distracts them from the war

It is disappointing to lose any battle. Sometimes it’s devastating. If you lose your job, if you don't find emotional support from the people you care, it becomes almost impossible to be positive.

But the war is not over, is it? It will never be. If your business fails, won’t you know several key things NOT to do next time? Objectively, it’s a highly useful learning experience, at least it was for me. I made marvellous progressions, steps that I will never thought I could take.

Make sure you're not one of the many people who attach their identity to a submarine. If you mentally attach your identity and your chance to succeed to your business or in a jo, and your business fail or you get fired (shit happens...), your really cool submarine is destroyed, and you're stuck under water (surrounded by predators and without air, without people you can rely on and without money - we hate money but we need them). Instead, you should see your carrier as a ship that could possibly (one chance in millions) take you where you would like to go. That way, if it sinks, you can jump overboard and still join a pirate crew (good ingineers can become hackers :) ).

The optimal strategy in life is to focus on winning the battle you're in. I think most of us get this step right, but miss the next crucial one.

In real war, conditions and possible scenarios are altered after a battle. Both sides have gained knowledge about the other side's firepower and tactics, and both sides have lost resources. This calls for a modified strategy, which means zooming out for a broader view of the war.

Immediately after you receive that rejection letter, re-strategize for your "war". As Darwin said, "it is not the strongest or the most intelligent who will survive but those who can best manage change."

The most successful leaders in the history of warfare were the ones who could modify their strategy quickly, decidedly, and strategically. 

Even if you win a battle, you can lose ground in the war by not anticipating and preparing for the next battle. Life is full of battles, and the key is not letting any single battle distract you from your main objective in your "war" – Fight to live how you want to live.

Lesson: If you’re not currently in battle or have just finished (an exam), zoom out your focus to determine the current best strategy, then zoom back in and prepare for your next battle. On the other hand, you cannot afford to spend many time caught in the maze of eternal remorse.

4. Confidence doesn't guarantee success but it surely contributes to it

If you go in expecting to fail, you've got a great chance to do it. If I expected Destiny to wear me out, and waste my time, why would I write this? Pessimism leads to failure because it decreases the amount of effort a person will put forth. Success requires effort, which is fueled by the perspective that your efforts are not in vain.

Lesson: You instinctively hesitate to invest in a sinking ship, even if you're the one sinking it. Take a leap of faith, for charity.

5. fear is not real it is the product of our thoughts. Danger is very real, but fear is a choice.

Fear must be cold, because it freezes people. Deer are famous for freezing right before a car hits them. Like that situation, freezing in place isn't a smart strategy in life.

Progress paves the the way to success.

If it takes 10,000 hours to master something (Chemistry and Biology for me) and fear makes us do nothing, then fear needs to go away. Face your fears and you'll find success right behind them. Overcoming fear is a success in itself, and it opens the door for more.

Lesson: Learn to use fear as a weapon to achieve your goals and not as a demotivating argument.

6. The future stands in your hands (if you are unlucky as me).

"If she didn't … If I wasn't living here… If the economy… If that hadn't happened…"

Excuses and throwing blame are the same way of saying, "I'm not in control. "Now that's scary.

Everyone had a perfect excuse when the economy went into a recession in these past few years, but after telling everyone their perfect excuse, they were still in the same mess. Meanwhile, other people did well because they adapted ( once again survival of the fittest).

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Excuses feel good temporarily, but don't be fooled, they can only hurt you. Accept full responsibility for where you are, and you'll have a chance to change it for the better.

Lesson: You are the only variable you can control in this world, master your actions wisely, make them count.

7. Maybe it's not the person, it's the place

Sometimes failure is simply a matter of location – the wrong country (at least I was born in Romania and not in Africa), the wrong parents (if only my parents were rich people), the wrong job, the wrong hobby (reading it's not so appreciated by those who claim it, at some point reading and writing become a question on making money and I cannot aprecciate if it's good or bad). This is the tricky aspect of failure – knowing when to move on to something else. Not all people are capable of success in all things, in fact most of us are capable of success in some areas and this is enough for many.

Right now, there is someone doing a mediocre job at work (I picture me at my former job at this hour), who could be world class in another field (maybe I was). This is a good reason to experiment and try different things – you might latch on to something and love it enough to succeed with it. Sucess is also bases on the sacrifices you are willing to make to accomplish your dreams.

Lesson: If a fish and a human switch places, they will both die of suffocation. Location matters.

8. Passion is the key to success

Apathy can infect any area of our lives, and when it strikes, it produces bucketfuls of failure. The scariest part of apathy is how contagious it is. You'll have it in one area of life, feel the resulting failure, and let it spread to another area. Or your apathetic friends will rub off on you.

This is one more reason to experiment and try different things – to ward off apathy. The more excited about your life and the possibilities to explore, the better! Apathy can often lead to the worst-case scenario of human life. That worst-case scenario is next on the list as the number one reason for failure, and it's the saddest thing you’ll ever see in a human being.

Lesson: The more you care, the more you’ll succeed.

9. When you feel like giving up, remember why you held on for so long in the first place

It crushes me to see it – a human being full of potential…giving up. Suicide is the ultimate expression of giving up and in my opinion it is life's most tragic event. We all have a place in this world and suicide is giving up before you find it.

Giving up isn't always so obvious. Anybody you see could be giving up in some area of their life.

If you've ever seen someone you love give up on their dream or struggle, even temporarily, you know of the sinking feeling you get. Giving up is the number one reason people fail because it is the only permanent failure. As long as you are actively trying, you have not failed yet. But once you give up, success will not arrive unexpectedly.

You can have the worst strategy and focus on all of the wrong things, but as long as you keep trying, you will learn and have hope. That is an important truth.

Failure happens; none of us escape unblemished. But for every single person who has ever lived, the secret of life is an unflinching, inspiring little phrase that has shaped nations, bought freedom, saved lives, and fulfilled so many dreams…

I did not come here to suffer, or the love of stubborn gladness

Which doesn't mean shit always goes right. But it means that I try to live by the code of the poet Jack Gilbert: "We must have the stubbornness to accept our gladness in the ruthless furnace of this world."

Cheers to stubborn gladness, then.

Let's take a moment and reflect : stubborn gladness. I realized that those two words summed up my entire life philosophy: stubborn gladness.

Stubborn gladness does not mean ignoring negativity, injustice, or social inequality. It means continuing to work, trying to find the good, seeing the good, loving the good and even finding the beauty in the imperfections. Because light could not exist without dark, in the same way happiness would not exist without suffering. It's important to work in order to accomplish your dreams, because in realitydreams don't just come true.

Happiness is a human right (not yet recognized by laws), something that everyone is capable of with a little work, reframing, and contemplation. Happiness is the main purpose of that we call life. Or at least it should be. A life lived in pain or working without personal satisfaction is not worth lived. Happiness shouldn't be an impossible pursuit. It is not selfish to strive for it, work for it, and find it.

What's more: You create the life you want. You decide whether to fill it with passion, love, positive people and positive actions or whether to fill it with unfulfilling actions, negative people, or suffering.

Happiness is everywhere: you can find at the gym when you exercise, in park with your friends, the smile of a stranger, a long walk gazing at the stars on the sky. It is in your drum playing, your 10 minutes of meditation, your introspective journaling. It is in your latte from your favorite coffee shop, fall leaves, your conversation with your best friend. It is in your favourite meal, a good wine (rose for me) a play at the Opera, a good movie or good music. It is everywhere, in everything, if you have the courage to lift your eyes and look further.

Happiness is the begining of a wonderful period in one's life, a state of mind that is the minimum required to do great things, amazing performances.