I'm not getting old, I'm becoming a classic!

27 Summers. Yep...It's been a long trip and quite exhausting. I feel like am am 100 years long (even if I  will never know who it is to live so long).

As long as I am breathing, in my eyes, I am just beginning !

I can say that I enjoyed my life, I felt so alive sometimes. Most of the times I am happy. I could be happier (if I were to be wiser) :)

So here is a short list of desires, for the future. Age is a state of mind, not a number.
I shall be grateful for every year that passes by because I learned so much and I took all I could from life.

I shall not become talkative and especially from the unfortunate habit of  thinking that I must say something on every subject and on every opportunity.

I shall renounce to the idea that I must straighten out other's people affairs. It wasn't, it isn't and will never be my business. Free will means I must not interfere with someone's faith. It's better and it's desirable not to be involved in other people affairs. So please God give me the wisdom to act wisely.

I shall listen to the complaints of others. I will endure them. But my lips will be sealed on my own aches and pains; they increase with the increasing years and my inclination to recount them is also increasing.

I must learn the glorious lesson that sometimes I might be wrong.

I will be reasonably gentle. I do not have the ambition to become saint (it is so hard to live with one of them) but a harsh old person is one of the devil's masterpieces.

I shall be sympathic without being sentimental ; helpful but not bossy. I deserve to discover merits that I didn't think I deserve them and talents that I didn't think I have.

....And as Audrey Hapburn said : the beauty of the women with passing years only grows!"

Happy Birthday to me!

Curiosity killed the cat but satisfaction brought it back

So it's dangerous to perform unnecessary investigation or experimentation under the penalty of losing life. But guess what a cat has nine lives :). I assume that it can lose some of them for the sake of truth to satisfy it's curiosity.

I myself am the cat. Or Sherlock Holmes (I used to call my mother Sherlock Holmes in high school), so I might be just Dr. Watson. It's not a tragedy, Dr.Watson works as well not to mention that Jude Law is one of my favourite actors.

So the idea is that Curiosity is an intriguing felling, to have that inquisitive thinking makes you explore, investigate, and most of all learn.

I thought many times at this insatiable desire of us to gain knowledge or information.

This is the engine of life. Over the millenniums, curiosity has been the driving force behind human development of brain activities which eventually lead to new discoveries in science.

But from where does this motivational desire stem? Maybe curiosity comes from a desire of reward.

My favourite theory is that called " Curiosity-Drive theory.

 Basically, according to this theory, curiosity acts as a mean to dispel uncertainty. I personally don't like ambiguous situation, it's deep down in my psihological traits this long for coherence in one's life. As my favourite author said in one of my favourite book of all time, The art of war, we have to know us and our enemy very well to win a battle. Indeed we must.

My motivation to disrupt incoherence is that often small people spread uncertainty and try to cause an unpleasant feeling of uncertainty. Hamlet : to be or not to be, whether it's nobler in the mind to suffer or to take arms against a sea of troubles.

That arms are couriosity to seek for the true nature of action and the courage to take the destiny in your hand. If we are not the "Master" from the Master and Marguerie, we can and must be the master of our life. I fell we have to make many sacrifices to come to an end in life. But what would be the pleasure of the journey if we would have to sail through a sea of troubles.

Our national Anthem is more than explicit "wake up Romanian, from your deathly sleep".

To die-to sleep no more; and by a sleep to say we end...to die to sleep/ Form in that sleep of death what dreams may come...Must give us pause-there's the respect/ That makes calamity of so long life.

Wonderful! I could live my entire life reading Shakespeare and after all say there is more to read.
Such a joy I had time to read in my early years of life. Life without poetry would be like food dishes with salt.

So...conclusion...Seek for the poetry in the life for there is no justified fear. We have the obligation to understand us and to make the best of our lives.

Fear comes from ignorance, curiosity must work close together with courage to solve the puzzle. After all, we were made to question not to accept a reality. It's more than we thought it was, it's about finding true love and happiness in life.

To die-to sleep no more
For in the arms of this sleep we waste our life (luckily 1 out of 9). So don't worry, if you fail, there are eight other shots.

Auzite prin oras.... Fetele discuta despre fete, baietii tot despre fete

Locul meu preferat din București : KFC-ul de la Unirii.

Ca de obicei m-am dus mi-am luat un meniu de HOT Wings (cu cat mai multe cu atat mai bine) si nelipsitul sos de usturoi. Doar ca de data aceasta nu intelegeam ce zice vanzatoarea "hot wings sau nu stiu ce" m-am uitat pe autocolant si am dedus ca ma întreaba daca vreau 5 HOT Wings si 5 copanele "ca in poza". Am zâmbit si am zis ca vreau combinat. (De fapt ma întreba daca vreau aripioare picante sau nepicante). Vi le pun separat zice, eu "Nu". Abia apoi m-am prins ca e marketing mincinos si ca poza minte.

In fine, multumesc, iau bonul si ma îndreptat spre masa cu tava mea de mancare nesănătoasă si injectata cu hormoni.

Ma duc in același loc in care stau mereu ( bine ca nu era ocupat), cat sa analizez oamenii de la celelalte mese, fara sa-si dea seama.

Evident lângă mine doi "copii" de 12-13 ani, baieti. Am început sa ma obișnuiesc cu copii mereu lângă mine vorbind, chiar ma gândesc ca poate as fi fost o profesoara buna, cum ei nici nu ma observa, nici nu ma baga in seama.

Numai bine, ei vorbeau ca de obicei de fete, mai precis le făceau inventarul cu mintea lor de copii : unul dintre ei zicea " pe X o stii?" "Da o stiu, vorbesc cu ea pana la 4 noaptea pe mess, ma obosește, sta cu mine toată noaptea"...iti dai seama o știe, daca vorbește cu el pe mess :)

Ma abtineam sa nu rad de fiecare data cand auzeam "si pe asta o stiu..."

Cred ca am ascultat 10 minute discuțiile lor despre fete pana a venit o prietena de-a lor (poate fata in pricina care toată noaptea il obosea pe mess).

Apoi mi-am îndreptat atenția spre un grup de puștoaice din fata mea: "stii ce a facut Adina...", a slăbit, arată nu stiu cum "fata"...

M-am gândit : fetele analizează fete iar băieți tot fete.

Oare de ce?

Life should be beautiful. What makes us to complicate it ?

God...so weird...beacause most of the time I have nothing to do, I analyse people.

We are the best trained creature of nature. Sometimes I even think we are robots (or we should) without emotions .

I should have a wonderful life, full of fullfilments : learn, travel, work, love, but I don't.

It's too complicated. I have that strange feeling that my life is worthless and I will end up alone ( I would prefer this to happen) and that until I will close my eyes I will make many people to suffer.

This is a reality. And this is happing because I have emotions. If I hadn't, all will be happy; it's a creazy theory but when I know that I am alone, I don't act superficial.

After all life is a war (for those without the sense of humor) or a game (for those that enjoy the ride).

Day after day, you have to fight : to run for the subway, with colleagues from work, with colleagues from the University, with family members, basically and in the first place with your feelings and emotions.

What is the purpose? Well is guess that even if I don't believe in God ( actually I do and I have much faith, it's kind of difficult to express it in words), I truly, with all my being believe in Good. All to be happy because I was born and raised and educated in the common sense that all people are equals. And good and equality is something it is worth living for.

If we didn't believe in good, we would be no more than animals (live, eat and particularly mate, all day, all night).

In my life, from my infance I read. Many books; education isn't to be found at the University. It is in you. Of course there are some that have aquired knowledge in school, but isn't enough to be somebody independent, with an opinion.

I for example had the greatest marks when I was admitted at Sorbona University. You wouldn't want to know what happend to me and others colleagues that were in the same class as I (the Golden A). We were "slaughtered" by others robots ( people that only memorize and have to faith in Good and most of all do not respect the others, as they so wrongfully believe they are superiors).

However, it comes a time when we have to pay are debts, in so many ways. It's doesn't matter for me, as I feel no satisfaction when I see "justice".

I only hope that there will be a time when people will have personal ambitions and will read a book or understand a problem, just because, with purpose. To believe to admire nature and all its creatures, not to hate others because they have more then you have. okey, put it this way : they have more than me, they are more then me, how can I become one of them? Why do all just hate what they cannot understand. More than that, in the ART of War (one of my favorite books) it is stated clearly : Respect you enemy.

I have confrounted many, with more or less than me. They hate with all their heart and want to destroy others to take their place. Why don' respect the enemy and assume a war with justice?

Yes, we humans are weak, because we love and care, and this makes us easy targets for robots that just want vengence.

And another important aspect of our lives is to leave our dream, do not interfere with others dreams and most of all do not want to help the others build their dream.

Life is a lost battle at least for me...I feel that I have so many informations to share and it's a pleasure to speak with people about history, about health and to listen to them.

It's brokes my heart to see millionaires that ask me who is Cristofor Columb or "supervisors or super humans" that say Givenchy "ghivenci".

I read people's face, unfortunatelly for me. To see somebody with power and money with education, it's the greatest pain I have experienced in this life.

I can accept that we are not perfect, but if you have less knowledge than other, you should respect him Any try to learn not to immitate!!!!! Him. Try to think and see as he does, do not disrepect him.

Nobody will be smarter if it immitates something. In order to understand somebody, you have to respect him.

So, to conclude, life would be less complicated with more work and less talking. And train daily your brain and body as if the great war is to come. Have feelings and emotions because this makes us natures greatest achivement, but learn to control them. Do not let the others speculate on you weakness and emotions.

Respect your enemy and fight with degnity.

"Let them be shown that we choose to die on our feet, rather then live on our knees!"

Of love and other impossible pursuits...

I finished a book that is very impressive : Doctor Jivago. In fact, all russian books are a masterpiece, at let's for me. I don't know what's that intruiguing with these russian authors...probably because we share the same fears and feelings as russian...we are in a continous and endless seek of ourselves and we try to find our soulmate, the missing piece from the puzzle in every person we meet, but we know that the battle is already lost. Because life is tragic and we love love stories without happy endings. If the story would have a happy end then story is a common one. We, people like to see tragic endings to love stories not only in books but also in reality.

I must confess that I like happy endings and I truly believe that if we want somebody or something, we will have it. But in reality, we are limited and I was limited by time and my knowledge at some point. Whether it was the right person at the wrong moment, whether it was the wrong person at the right moment.

And what about love in this equation ? There are many types of love, none the same with other. Why every time I look to a person, I see sadness or indiference ?

I thought many times how do I got to a point where I don't believe in love, that true and great love of one's life. Coincidence, bad luck and a lot of stupidity. All in all, there is no love, only lines that meet at some point in space and maybe they will separate or evolve toghether.

That feeling of fear of the unknown, of the butterflies from my stomach will never exist. I feel tired of others feelings, emotions. It comes a point in one's life when nothing counts. And yes, you do hope nothing will happen ; it' s too complicated and people do not like happy stories with happy endings. They like a comfortable life, without complications. And if somebody, by chance falls in love with him/her then that one is stupid. After all, we shouldn't care because it doesn't affect us directly.

If I look back to my life, I find nothing. Love is a great feeling and a hope for a better world. But nowdays all is complicated and we have to sacrifice our feelings to achieve a higher status in society. I had so many opportunities to meet people so diverse, from school, faculty, work, every day life and I didn't see a potential "life partener " everywhere I looked. However, at least in books others have found what I didn't and not only one soul mate.

This is the reason I like russian literature so much : because writers seem to be more pragmatic, they don't write this is the one and only love, they show a human's evolution all along his life. Let's exercise a little : just imagine that in an universe you have the chance to meet somebody and in a parallel universe you pass by that person without even knowing it exists. You are still you ? And your soul?

For me it's simple: love is impossible such as happinness and so on.

I don't know why... The others seem they are the guardians of life as we know it, with goods and bads, and that they won't allow anything out of common to happen. It can't be, it's against nature. And they are right.

Animals in nature behave in the way they do in order to live and prolong the specie. Even if an animal would want to do a thing against nature, it couldn't. Nature is made in a sense that all live and we grow toghether, even if by different paths. All are equals and we have to obey the laws of nature.

As I used to say, maybe another time in another life, but now no...it'impossible

Dreaming is believing, seeing is deceiving or my favourite quote : look closer because the closer you look the less you see

I a world in a permanent move and in a continous change, we are more and more just a tiny dot (a pixel).

What can make the difference between a common human and a exterordinary destiny ?

For me and only for me chance. And also perseverence. To be the right one in the right place.

And what about intelligence ? I don't believe that there is a notable between people in a large extent to conclude that there are intelligent humans and NON intelligent.

In these days, it is very important to have as strong personality to accomplish your plans.
Psichology has transformed the way the play is performed. Many use the knowledge of the human thing in their own interest.

You don't have to neutralise someone, you just have to destroy his mind.

To be continued

What goes around turns around or karma’s power

I will talk about a case that I had the misfortunate to see in the last few months.

I didn’t think I will ever meet a “lost case such as me”. Sincerely, never.

I finished the Law School. I know that every case is by default a lost case and that if somebody sometimes wins it’s because somebody has to. It’s not that he has the fortune in his hands: maybe luck, maybe money, maybe chance, more plausible continuity and perseverance.

I believe we cannot confront faith without a lost: some lose money, other their lives and other their minds.

I will analyze the case when the tribute is the mind. When somebody loses his mind, he tries to make the other hurt just to feel satisfied. He knows that he lost everything and works on his best in every way he can to determine the other to pay attention to him. And if he has to make them suffer, it doesn’t matter. I’m destroyed; the Universe must end with me, he thinks. Instead of building another dream, he spends his like trying to destroy the other’s dream.

But, karma works. Yes, it does. And it’s not that it’s right and this is the way it should be, it works because the way we see the others is our reflection on how we understand the world. The way we see someone, gives him an attribute. And if we want to destroy someone, we have to destroy our own reflection in his entity, what we believe he is.  It’s literally the same thing as eating your flesh.

You will die trying to capture your own projection. It’s just not possible to destroy the universe if you want to survive, because you are a part of it, you belong to it. If you want to make a difference, you must adapt and live according to the general rules. If someone hurted you, you have to move forward and don’t listen to their excuses. There is no excuse.

In other words, stay as far as you can of the projection they have of you. It’s too dangerous and worthless to try to put an end to their fantasy. I myself tried, with no result and a great loss. It simply doesn’t worth the effort.

In a world full of holograms and projections of ourselves, we have to adapt in order to survive. To accept that the others have the right and the capacity to build their world. Maybe you are a part of their fantasy, even if you don’t want.                 Their fantasy is limited by their thinking.

In order to escape that prison, being trapped in other one dream, you have to be adapted to the reality more than he is.

The question is: are you the master of your life or a projection of other’s frustrations (or in the best case of their desires)?

Make a difference and do not let other interfere with your destiny. After all, life is unique and must be wonderful.

Believe me, living with somebody that hurts you in every way he can to fell powerful will not contribute to a happy end. Nor to argue with him or to explain him that he’s wrong. Like talking to a wall.

I wish that we would have a drogue to fix other’s minds. But there isn’t at this point.

There would be so more to write about this subject. Maybe I will put on paper my experience another time.

What I learned in this life is that people are insatiable of power. Power gives them life. However what gives you power, also destroys you. Like a sword with two sides.

In conclusion, it’s easier to use a person as a pole to build your dream house than to being the construction from zero. Such a pity…Wasted energy

About choices…

Above all, we are defined by the choices we make…whether we turn to left or right, it doesn’t matter, all it matters is to truly believe in the step that you take.

I must say that in this moment I’m totally focused on learning as much and as fast as I can…It’s a choice that I´ve made.

Why? I want to create something that defines me. I could have a child. It’s the most realistic creation and has my personal print in every cell, in every organites, in its entire being. I don’t have to “sign” “the creation” because his existence is my print into this world. Quite obvious and in a certain way, quite simple.

Biologically speaking, humans are design to create and recreate themselves every day in every way, from the social point of view, to the family point of view and so on. Of course we all have goals that we cannot achieve at least at some point of our lives and we are frustrated by our limits, or the limits of our “small circle”.

I read an article some months ago, and it’s still on my mind. In just two words: virtual universe

Why not? This would be the simplest answer to a question that we all have (but the answer it isn’t at all comforting). For me, this is the proper answer.  This will explain our limits: the universe is expanding, we are changing in order to adapt, because as Darwin (that famous father of human evolution theory, no need to discuss further) said, the most adapted will survive.

We have to adapt to the Universe. It means to act in a certain way in order to “breath the fresh air” every day. Maybe we have to input some information in a program in order to generate an answer.

However, even in this virtual universe, I believe that humans have a power others earthly creatures don’t have: the power to write their own code. We are born with some features “the genetic package” (“mother and father code”), and we, by observing other holograms (that have a predetermined existence) can adapt to a more desirable form.

We observed birds…we build airplanes.

We analyzed the dolphins…we begun to understand the way our brain communicates with the universe.

A lion will never eat grass…Instead a human can make choices by his own mental capabilities.

Like the “Hello world“. On a display device, a computer program will out put these words, depending on the language syntax.

To be continued…

Hello world! Let's make this world a better place!