Finding a companion in life : randomized process or follows patterns ?


I recall that the first books I read when I learned to read in my early infance were the greeks myths gathered togheter and retold by a romanian author. I read those two books several times.


So, from then I thought about life generally speaking and one's faith. What is a human if not a grain in the sand. So fragile and yet so courageous.


To sum all stories, in my childhood appeared to my mind the idea, yet unclear of faith and predestination. How much do we owe your achivment in life to ourselves and our proactive actions and how many to destiny ? And most important : in this life there is afterall that so divinized free arbitrage or is just water in the rain ? Do we have a word in designing your destiny or we just have to fallow the faith as it moves sneak as water between the rocks ?


I cannot avoid to observe people ; their character, personality, behavioural and gestures, even voice and mimics. And if this wasn't enough, following my law studies, I cannot avoid to judge them. :( Bad prosecutor, I never forgive and bad judge, I refuse to admit excuses or exhonerating circumstances.

Sometimes I wish I were wrong, but nature has its own ways. Things don't always happen as we hoped they will and eventually facts confirm my basic instincts. More then anyone else I known, I would give some years of my life just to see I am wrong and that the light at the end of the tunnel is a glourious end.


However, in choosing a life partner, stars must be align in "a very positive way. :)"

We tend to choose a partner basing on reasoning and as someone special to me said : You know, you may have many realations with special persons and there may be tones love and passion between you, BUT when you choose "someone to breed", a life companion, you choose someone like you, preferable the same social statute, background and aspirations. So love and marriage are like parralel lines that seem to meet at some point but that in fact never will. End of the story or the begining of the story.

Based on this conclusion, finding a person with whom we build a long lasting relation is a randomized process or follows patterns ? We choose someone because we meet in a certain place (and this makes half of the story), of course it would be funny to imagine a love story between a judge and a convicted person but never say never. Life can be amusing sometimes, if you hold a degree in the Management of Sarcasm and you enjoy not always laughing at someone but also being the victim of a joke, a cruel one.

In order to be the master of your destiny, you have to follow it. I know a quote that goes as Follow your destiny or you will be destroy by it. True. Sometimes you have to take the Ego apart and be prepared to accept you might be wrong and you are a candle in the wind.

The most beautiful dream I had, a few years ago because now I have only nightmares, pictured me as a small particle in the universe. A tiny particle with a negligible weight, alone in space. I felt such a relieve to be one with the universe, confort I didn't found elsewhere. I looked on the sky being in peace with myself, admiring the beauty of the stars that shined. So much light and good and air. I could finally breath. Then, out of nowhere, it crossed my mind the idea that I may collied with another particle and that I have to return. Fear and tears. End of the dream, or at least of the part I remembered.

The idea of having a soulmate in my highschool years has the core of my existence. Then, over the years, I became less courageous because love is a bet and I fell I cannot lose a game. Growing old and becoming weak.

Come what may, I will use my poker face, but I don't want to lose this game. The speech of Aristophanes in story Symposium by Plato explaining why people in love say they feel "whole" is due to the human nature. In a few words, at the begining of time people had double bodies, being spheric creatures that were splitted apart by Zeus because they were powerful creatful and the gods feared their power. He thought to kill them but considered the advantage of using them so he split the sphere in two. And ever since then we are in a permanent search of the other half to comple our primarily nature.) For me, it's terrifying to accept that idea.)

No problem for me. There are plenty of solutions for coward and lazy people as me. This is why I love greeks and greek culture. No greek book stated an unique idea that became "the one and only word, the sentence, the truth, the leading philosophy", there are many points of view. Different solution to the same problem. In other words a personalized life partner pattern for some and for other the dices roll and we obtain a randomized result (to a certain extent, some limits. Maybe the Universe is infinite but possibilites are calculated and found in a number).

I assume that men are enchanted with Socrate's speech from Plato's Symposium. :) Natures calls, unphilosofically speaking.

Socrates argues that men should make an ascent to arrive at the discovery of the ideal form of beauty (such as Dorian Grey by Oscar Wilde, what if we remember what happened to the glourious beauty of the character endevoured by his ambition of sublime beauty).


However Socrates states that men should start with the love of a particular beautiful person (typically, of course, no personal comment). The next step is to pass from this particular instance to beauty in general, and from physical to moral beauty (three and still counting). The fourth step is to attain the love of wisdom, and then from this to the appreciation of the absolute and divine beauty. Platonic love or being in love with love. Life cannot be modified by phylosophy, it just happens, above thinking and desire.

Socrates doesn't consider that this self awaking and transformation involves "persons", and our "bildungroman" would be theooretically built by following what we have to do and not what we should do. For I have read many stories about women (feminist ?, neah..) that were manipulated and hurt by man, abandonated in the rain, literally speaking. Men that become a brute and that at least for a period of time if not for life become a painful memory, an open wound, perhaps never to be healed.

Indeed, if a game is lost, and love is the most thrilling game, you cannot pretend mercy from your enemy. We know what happens in battle with prisoners : death, slavery or exchange


I assume after reading these speeches three times and still counting that every one can have an opinion

and that we shouldn't take life and love seriously. After all, this speeches were written on a drinking party. As romans say : In vino veritas.

Concluding with the lyrics from La traviata, let's enjoye the beauty of love.

Libiamo, libiamo ne'lieti calici
che la belleza infiora.
E la fuggevol ora s'inebrii
a voluttà.
Libiamo ne'dolci fremiti
che suscita l'amore,
poichè quell'ochio al core
Omnipotente va.
Libiamo, amore fra i calici
più caldi baci avrà.
All:
Ah, libiamo;
amor fra i calici
Più caldi baci avrà